Ballsify is the alter-ego of a dude who does business online.
I am that dude.
If this were a marketing site, this is where I’d tell you about my revolutionary and game-changing approach to connecting passionate entrepreneurs with their right people. Or some kind of similar bullshit.
Fuck that jive.
I don’t believe in that, and you probably don’t either. Which is a good sign, because all that epic, awesome, rockstar BS is a lie.
It’s fairy dust, and the only people who make a living off of it do so by selling empty dreams to wannabes who prop up the whole mess with a mountain of ass kissing, self-congratulation, and good ol’ fashioned credit card debt.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
The Big Brains Behind Ballsify
Hi. I’m Andy Fossett.
I’ve basically done just three notable things in my life online:
Need more details? Sure, I…
- own a Levi’s Action Suit. Yes, the kind Chuck Norris used to endorse in the 80s.
- really dig words and grammar, spending entire afternoons thinking about semiotics but should remember that most people don’t consider this to be good party conversation.
- love ice cream, especially if it’s strawberry and covered in rainbow sprinkles.
- practice and teach a martial art called Taido.
- use a Mac. Actually, several of them.
- play the hell out of the bass guitar, though not as often as I would like.
- speak Japanese and English, sometimes simultaneously.
- was once a schoolteacher.
- recorded an album called 4.75″ of The Andy Fossett Rock Supreme. There are plans for a follow-up: 12cm of The Andy Fossett Rock Supreme.
- think you look lovely today.
There’s nothing for sale on this site, and I take very few clients (I have a family and real company that I run, so time is scarce).
So what’s the point? Why bother with this site at all?
Well, I’m certainly not doing it for the chicks, I can tell you that much. If I’m honest, the real motivation for me to do what I do is simply because I enjoy knocking the bullshit out of things.
What I specialize in didn’t exist until I came along, so I had to create a new verb for it: ballsify.
Basically, it involves having some fucking balls (figuratively, ladies) and doing shit that makes sense instead of what makes you feel like a big shot. That means getting your hands dirty – really dirty – and making good shit instead of blowing hot air up your ass.
I Can Seem Like An Asshole Sometimes
Though I can be pretty harsh sometimes, I should also let you know that this site isn’t about me being an asshole. I am an asshole, but that’s not why Ballsify exists.
I’m not here to tear you down. I’m here to tear down the BS in your business that doesn’t work.
You probably are a good person. You probably want to give brilliant things to your market. You probably are good at what you do. Those are assumptions I like to make about entrepreneurs (until they prove otherwise).
So the point is to show you better ways to market so you can focus on doing what you do well without getting sick on the Kool-Aid.
Then let’s do this.